Does it mean the same if I use "final" instead of "ultimate"?

Is "gosh" same as "god?"

Yeah, that's right! Although it's considered a much milder version of "god." Ex: Oh, gosh. I left my umbrella at home. Ex: Oh my gosh. Please, be quiet. = Oh my god. Please, be quiet.

How come "blasted" was placed between "you" and "kids"? also, what does it mean?

"Blasted" is a rather old-fashioned, informal adjective meaning "damned" or "damn." Thus, we can understand the sentence to mean "you damn kids," which is is obviously meant in a negative way. "Blasted" is placed between "you kids" (the people being referred to) in order to emphasize the feeling of frustration or anger. It is a word mostly used by older people. Ex: This blasted car won't turn on. (This damn car won't turn on.) Ex: I forgot my blasted wallet at home. (I forgot my damn wallet at home.)

What's "nature's call"? Is it commonly used expression?

"Nature's call" is a commonly used idiomatic expression that means to have to use the toilet/restroom. Ex: We need to stop at the gas station. Nature calls! Ex: I can't talk right now! I need to answer nature's call. Ex: When nature calls, there is not much you can do.

What does "in the moment" mean?

"In the moment" is generally used to mean that you are completely immersed or focused on the situation at hand with no thought for anything else. Ex: It's important to stay in the moment. Ex: I was so in the moment I didn't notice anything else.

Could you explain what funnel is?

A "sales funnel" is a business term. It refers to every step taken by a person in order to become a customer. In this case, the speaker has used this term to compare how having a business is similar to finding a date on a dating app. Just like a potential customer has to take certain steps to become a customer, a potential date has to meet certain criteria to get a response from her. Ex: A sales funnel consists of multiple steps. Ex: A sales funnel moves from top to bottom.